Teen Reflection: What Mindfulness Taught Me During COVID-19
By Sophie Beck, Mindfulness Student at Cleveland High School, Portland, OR
We are currently living through a pandemic, one that no one saw coming. I would have never thought that the next thing I would have to go through would be COVID-19. This year I had to endure a lot more than I would have wanted. My brother, only 8 months apart from me, was sent away to live in Utah, and then my parents got divorced after 25 years together.
When I thought my life was falling apart and it couldn’t get any worse, my school closed down due to the spread of coronavirus. Like many students, I was stressed out with homework and did not like getting up so early every morning, but after a couple of weeks the heartache kicked in. I was now missing something I thought I dreaded. I missed my routine, my friends, my freedom, my teachers, my community, and my classes.
“When I thought my life was falling apart and it couldn’t get any worse, my school closed down due to the spread of coronavirus. ”
I especially missed that two to three times a week I had the unmissable opportunity of going to my mindfulness class. It was by far the most comforting and calming class I had ever been in. I learned so much in this class and I did not have to worry about tests that measured my ability to obtain information, but I got to share my worries. I was in a safe space where no one would judge me and I could share anything. The 90 minutes I got in that class every other day made me stay sane and helped build me up. When I lost that connection due to COVID, it was really hard for me to manage all of my problems and worries again.
When classes started again, they were very very different. Instead of being inside a school classroom with all of my peers, I was in my room looking at all of their faces on my computer screen. Instead of 90 minutes every other day, I only had mindfulness once a week for 60 minutes. But I was determined to look at the positives: at least I was lucky enough to have mindfulness in a time like this.
“Every week when I got to listen to the bell ring at the beginning of class, a little part of my normal would come back. I got to share how I felt, which was overwhelming. I was sad, angry at the world, I missed people, I was sick of my parents, and I got to release all of this during class. ”
My experience with mindfulness changed completely when we switched to virtual learning. The schedule in our mindfulness class was shortened and different, but not any less helpful. In fact it is more important than ever right now. Mindfulness and meditation helped me through a really hard time and it is helping me again.
At the beginning of quarantine, I was lonely and wanting to go back to my normal so badly. I was missing everything I had before and I constantly looked at the negatives instead of the positives. Whenever I had mindfulness it reminded me that everything was temporary, and it gave me new ways to calm myself. Every week when I got to listen to the bell ring at the beginning of class, a little part of my normal would come back. I got to share how I felt, which was overwhelming. I was sad, angry at the world, I missed people, I was sick of my parents, and I got to release all of this during class.
I remember one of the questions asked to all of us in one of our class calls was, “What is one thing you could use to describe how you feel right now?” I responded with the word “rain.” I was feeling sad, but I love rain, so I was okay with how I was feeling. Even a simple question like this makes me feel better, it makes me feel like I compared my sadness to something I loved. This confused me, but I was also okay with that too, I was okay with my sadness. Mindfulness taught me this.
“If it was possible, I would make mindfulness a class for everyone to be able to access in a time like this.”
My favorite part of each class was the meditation. This was a time where I would not only listen to my teacher's voice, but actually listen to myself. I was able to see how I really felt in the moment and be okay with it. This has been one of the hardest years of my life, and being aware of how dangerous the coronavirus is has only made it harder.
One of the hardest aspects of COVID-19 is that I have had to learn how to live my life differently inside. I have had to learn how to move back and forth between homes and miss my brother from afar and not be able to connect with him. My anxiety doubled inside the places I called home over the beginning of this time, but I am doing so much better now. I now know what makes me feel better, what my body is feeling, and ways to cope through this hard time. The one that makes me the most calm and grounded is mindfulness.
“Mindfulness taught me how to cope and know that it’s ok to feel the things I feel. It is part of the practice. There is so much uncertainty and things we don’t know, and it is crucial we find ways to help ourselves. That is part of mindfulness. ”
If it was possible, I would make mindfulness a class for everyone to be able to access in a time like this. I would make mindfulness something that everyone could access at any time in their lives, whether things were hard or easy.
It is important that people know it is okay to feel how you feel, because we are all struggling right now. It is important that everyone does things that make them feel happy in a time like this. Mindfulness taught me how to cope and know that it’s ok to feel the things I feel. It is part of the practice. There is so much uncertainty and things we don’t know, and it is crucial we find ways to help ourselves. That is part of mindfulness.